My Non-Highlights Reel Of 2018
As I sit down to write this final letter of 2018, I'm 1 day, 8 hours and 26 minutes away from shutting my laptop for 2 weeks of rest. Not that I'm counting down or anything...
I don't know about you, but something about this time of year gets me all reflective. I find myself looking back in an attempt to draw a clean line under all this year has held for me and my business.
Sat in front of me is a list of all the 'wins' I've had in the last 12 months. A list which is a little overwhelming to look at (in a good way), but also a list which I won't be sharing online.
'But it's important to celebrate' and 'it's just a bit of fun' you're probably thinking. I hear you, and you're right, I'll be celebrating these wins with everything in me because I'm so proud of what I'm leaving 2018 having achieved. But what I won't be doing is sharing my highlights reel online for others to see, compare to and derive incomplete conclusions from.
I'VE BEEN THERE
I've been there. Sat in bed, looking at others who seem to play big // take risks // find success whilst bullying myself for stepping back, taking a break or just doing what's needed to keep going. When I'm in a bad place it's impossible not to take everything at face value, immediately assuming that others are effortlessly achieving and that I'm the only one subscribing to a concoction of self doubt, insecurity and fear.
Whilst I'm so aware, now more than ever, that 'playing big' or finding 'success' doesn't come without it's own set of challenges, the fact that they're often left behind the scenes makes it easy to assume that they don't exist.
THE FULL STORY
I'm (probably a little too) conscious of how what I share and how I present it can impact others. Because whilst many would love to have a read of my achievements and celebrate with me, for the 25% who feel a little too consumed by self doubt // insecurity // fear // *insert an ugly feeling here*, it can be the hardest thing. And let's be honest, I think we find ourselves in the 25% pretty frequently...
Which is where my desire to tell the whole story, or as much of it as I'm comfortable with, comes from. And also why I'm not sharing my 2018 highlights reel online this year.
I'm in no way saying it's a bad thing to do so. But for me, based off of my experience of being in that 25%, it's something I could only share if paired with a whole list of disclaimers and reality checks which quite frankly, I can't be bothered to do. I guess what I'm encouraging us all to do, is to be a little more conscious of how what we share and how we share it can impact our people.
AND THAT'S IT FOR 2018
So as you (hopefully) begin to wind down from work and look ahead to 2019, I encourage you to reflect. Reflect on the fullness of 2018 - celebrate the good, acknowledge the difficult and thank yourself for making it through.
Instead of publicising my highlights, I'll be sharing the truths my business has taught me in 2018 on the podcast tomorrow - so subscribe if you want to tune in.
As always, thank you. Thank you for reading these letters. Thank for being a part of my small but powerful community. Thank you for adding to the fullness of my 2018.
I can't wait to see what 2019 holds.
x x